


Dying is Easy, Living is Harder

by Starsight (crownhearted)



Series: A Martyr's Reprise [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Underswap, No Mercy, No Mercy Route, underswap - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2016-07-01
Packaged: 2018-07-19 10:17:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7357261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crownhearted/pseuds/Starsight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I know you not quite well / Yet I foolishly surrender my mind to you. / Slowly and carefully you have cast a spell / Now my virgin heart only longs for you. / There is no need to push, I am already falling. / Once proudly tall, I’m no longer standing. / Knowing well that I am doomed to misery, / I will roll the dice and take delight in my suffering. ― Kamand Kojouri</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dying is Easy, Living is Harder

"Oh, no, no, come here. You can't go out like that, Chara." 

You ignore how they flinch when you gently float down and let your boots touch the snow, not a crunch to be heard. You brush off their collar, you fix it, adjust it. You smooth out the wrinkles in their sweater and reach up to adjust their hair. You smile, and a thumb comes up to lightly swipe away a fragment on their rosy cheek. You nod with a sort of finality, and then gently move aside.

"There. All cleaned up. You do tend to let it get everywhere- I advise against that. It's disrespectful." 

You follow them as they stalk forward. You see the tension, the shaking grip on the weapon, the way their knuckles fade from pink to white and back again in their anxiety, their steadfast DETERMINATION. It's powerful. You watch on and encourage them as they take this trip with you through the Underground, and you muse aloud to them as the journey continues.

"They would want to be together, don't you think? Now, remember, the ritual for monsters is to spread their dust on the thing they loved the most. Seeing as they loved _each other_ the most...mingling their dust is acceptable. So you can pick it all up together. Yes, very good, now be careful, don't spill! Right. You can just sprinkle it among the snow, I do believe they loved it best." You watch Chara scatter the dust awkwardly over the snow, and then delicately use their hands to cover it with ice. You would prefer not to have to see the remains of an innocent race. They stand up and look at you, and you bow your head appropriately.

"Lesser and Greater Dog were the _best_ of friends." You begin, and you note how Chara, though uncomfortable, turns their head and bows it very slightly. They are so uncomfortable with expressions of emotion and affection. It's a little endearing. "They loved running and playing fetch, they loved fighting alongside one another. It was right they should be put to rest here, where they lived and worked, rather than in a clinic under pin and needle exams." You know that will make Chara squirm. You need that to resonate. You need them to  _understand_.

"They died together, and at peace with each other, in hardly any pain. Saved from the agony of the human race's sick fascination with pain and torture and experimentation." You remained quiet. You let it sink in, and after a good minute or so, you take a deep breath, sniffled, and straightened up. "Right. Let's move on, Chara. We've a long way yet to go. Gosh, we're only just getting started."

You float forward and lead them further into Snowdin Forest. You help and encourage them every step of the way, and insist that, even for the little monsters, everyone get a proper scattering of dust. Whenever Chara seems to waver in their loyalty to your cause, you lay a hand on their shoulder and clean them up. The dust gets everywhere, it pads them like armor, gray metal plates of finely ground bones lining their sleeves and chest and cheeks and forehead.

You take great care being gentle, looking at their  ~~pretty~~ red eyes, making them clean and presentable. You don't like the look of a murderer. That's not what you're doing here, you and Chara are  _ **SAVING**_ these monsters, you're  _ **SPARING**_ every single one. You're doing what's, sadly, necessary. You try to communicate this a second time as you stand in front of the empty Snowdin Inn.

"That's why we are doing this, Chara. Can you imagine the horrible things monsters would endure if they ever got to the surface? Golly, I don't even want to  _imagine_ it- but if that's what it takes to continue to save them, why, of course I will. I'd much rather them die in peace, where they live, with hope- wouldn't you? Don't you think that's a better fit for the most kind and compassionate beings? Dying with dignity, honor, respect,  ** _hope_**. That's what's important. They die with light and love in their eyes, and the vision of a peaceful surface...we know better, but why crush their dreams? Why let them discover how terrible the surface truly is?"

You place your hands tenderly on Chara's shoulders. They make eye-contact with you for the first time. You reach up and place a palm on their cheek; it's warm.

"We're humans. We can't escape that. All we can do is put our inevitable, terrible nature to good use. I rid the Underground of my dangerous presence to try and save them all...and now...?"

They swallow. They say what you told them to say.

"It is my job to do the only thing I can do for them."

"Yes, Chara. You can only hurt. Humans can only hurt. We can't help it. And so, we will hurt with good intentions. We will hurt to help."

They shudder, and you push their hair behind their ear only to watch it fall back into place.

"Kill them to save them."

_"_ **_Now_ ** _you understand, partner."_


End file.
